My decade of influence on them was to show them how a traditional family works together as a team, and infused as much midwestern family traditions as I could as I had growning up.  Values, honesty, solid character, good study habits were all the things I worked on.  My step-daughters welcomed me but also kept me at bay, because I was so different, so much more serious about life than the casual attitudes toward life and school they had lived.  My husband encouraged me to share what I could.  I encouraged my husband to amend his weekly allowances to his girls to now be contingent on specific chores being completed regularly.  We were a team, and me constantly picking up after them wasn’t going to teach them anything.   It was then that I realized how entitled they felt.  They expected it all in return for nothing.   I read a multitude of Christian based family psychology books about blending families and treating all the children equally.  I did my best.  I worked from home many years so I was there before and after school to provide the structure and support.  I like to think they benefited all that I did in the long run, even though I came into their lives a little late. 

Now they are 27 and 23 years of age.  It is now that I can see the issues they struggle with are from their formative years.  Not accepting responsibility for their current circumstances and using a multitude of excuses about how they were brought up and what they didn’t have is holding them back.  Their natural mother was very ill and saw them on weekends when she could growing up.  They still have so much pain because their ‘real’ mom couldn’t be the mom that they always needed and wanted.  That pain still includes resentment toward me for being that super mom that doesn’t love them the way a ‘real’ mom could.   I have grown to love them, but it’s not the same as loving my own natural daughter, who is 19.  The love that is there between us certainly could have grown far deeper and been very different had I come into their lives at the start of their father’s single parenting stint of 9 years.  They so desparately needed a good mother’s love and nurturing, which they never received even before the divorce of their parents.  I gave of myself far more than I thought I was capable of and then some.  I loved them as I could. 

I wish I could transfer to them all the knowledge I’ve accumulated about personal development and working on one’s higher self, but I cannot.  They must dig out of where they are themselves.  It’s painful for them and painful for us watching them.  They’re to entrenched in old thought habits that they cannot see how ridiculous they appear at times.  There was a recent family reunion and one of them isolated herself from the crowd for most of one of the dinner gatherings only to then burst into tears gathering the intended attention from two closest aunts looking for a consoling shoulder to cry on and more.   This manipulative display of attention on behalf of the 23 year old was such an immature act, as though she were 7 or 8, it made me realize how much maturing this grown child still needed.  Preceeding this display for the past few years has been a constant whining to relatives about her plight and what’s wrong in her life, asking for a little financial assistance here and loan never to be repaid from this one or that because her life was out of control.  And then there was the scarey realization, after much discussion between the adult family members, aunts, uncles, my husband and I, “what if?” she doesn’t dig out of this and develop a stronger self-esteem and take responsibility for her own life and emotions.  Frankly, the family consensus is that we’re all tired of hearing about it, getting the calls, hearing of her calling others complaining about her circumstances.  Then there was the pat on the back from my in-laws that I and my husband had done enough, it was time to let go.  It wasn’t until the whole family was together for this reunion and we had that long talk together that I realized how my step-daughter was affecting everyone. 

Did her father, I, and/or relatives make some mistakes along the way?  Sure.  Well intended acts of love and caring didn’t develop self-esteem and a sense of being responsible for one’s self.  Doing too much backfires also.  But much of my step-daughter’s circumstances weren’t anyone’s fault.  Her mother didn’t become ill on purpose preventing her from being a nurturing mother.  Being a single parent is tough enough, especially when it’s a dad finding himself having to care for a 5 year old and 6 month old on his own and working days and part-time nights to make ends meet.  And me, well, some of my friends and a school counselor or two have commended me for accepting the responsibility I did.  Not alot of women would come into a marriage at that point especially with the circumstances what they were.  But I fell in love with a wonderful man.  We married for us, not for our children. 

So, I’m searching for a book or two that I can share with my step-daughter to help her realize that I or anyone else is not her problem.  Her life’s difficulties are not because I couldn’t treat her like she was my natural daughter, that she cannot be who she wants to be.  That the desparation of feeling like she has no control over changing her life, her attitudes, her job, her weight, her finances, is all really her own doing — that she is sabotaging herself with her self-defeating habits and thoughts.  And also that no one person, aside of herself, is responsible or at fault for her happiness.  The books I read are far beyond what she could comprehend to start out with, so if anyone out there has some suggestions please contact me.  I love her and I still want to help.

I was crossing a fairly busy intersection with traffic light. There was a group of kids who had just pressed the pedestrian walkway button and were waiting for the green light to cross. The group of about 8 kids, from middle school age to high school, were obviously having a good time amongst themselves while waiting.

It was the youngest that my eyes turned to when I heard the shrieks of joy coming from her. She was jumping up and down waiving her arms about and the others were watching her laughing enjoying watching her experience. She had just waived to the driver of a very large truck, motioning to him with her fist in the air pulling her fist down while bending her arm. The motion many of us as youth also mimicked of a truck driver pulling the cable inside the truck cab to blow the loud horn.

The truck driver eagerly responded to her blowing his horn several times to her delight as she continued to jump for joy. And as that was taking place I reveled in the simple joy of it all. Would most people have just continued walking through that intersection and not even noticed the young girl’s joy? If so it would have been because they just weren’t listening.

I own an iPod and had it with me but hadn’t used it during that walk. I walked, just listening to the sounds around me, cars, birds, the sounds of the baby in the stroller that had just pass me with the proud mom pushing. If I’d had my iPod playing with the plugs in my ears I would have missed sharing the joy of that little girl. It actually brought a great smile to my face and to my soul as I acknowledged how grateful I am for life in general and it’s simple joys.

Do you take time to listen to the sounds around you? Do you sit in silence to listen to your soul?

Many people experience an uncomfortable feeling when they sit in silence. They don’t know how to relax and just notice the monkey chatter that starts to play in their head, or the day dreams/nightmares that accompany being over-stimulated in our society from anxiety, too much negative media. So they mistakenly interpret this as needing to be doing something or with someone. They just didn’t sit long enough and relax enough.

It takes practice to focus on nothing and just relax and listen to your soul, listen to your breathing. Try meditation in some form daily even if it’s just sitting in silence for 15 minutes at the beginning of your day before writing your thoughts in a journal. There are many formal methods, Jappa is one that I use frequently, or just listening to meditative music to start with if you’re restless. It’s cleansing. It’s healing. For me, it brings to the surface answers to many personal and business issues for which I seek enlightenment. My creativity can flow unencumbered at these times. And I feel connected. Connected to God letting all that is good flow through me assisting me in appreciating every little simple joy.

So, stop and listen. Appreciate. Be aware. Watch and look for all that is good. Revel in it. Be grateful. And join me — HONK for Joy!

Polaris Media Group is a manufacturer of multi-media positive media with a focus on entrepreneurial educational publications, DVDs, curriculum and empowering events. The focus of the curriculum is to allow regular people to achieve success, improve their competence, enhance their self-confidence and gain self-reliance. Polaris Media Group believes that given practical education, every individual has the ability to realize their inherent potential and live a life of personal fulfillment. The “Kids With Cameras” will be available for purchase on our website soon, visit: http://www.polarismediagroup.com/janetwashburn

One of our two cats “Os,” short for Ostentatious, greeted our first team members as they arrived. Os is usually very social, welcoming and warm to every visitor. Occasionally if you pet her in the wrong place too hard, she might nip at you. And more accurately, she’d rather you wait until she’s ready to be petted. However, her reaction to our first visitors was unusual. She wouldn’t stop sniffing David and made several attempts to bite him and actually did nip him a few times. This has never happened to this extent before, mind you. What was unusual was that Os didn’t give up — she kept after David sniffing all over him, very intrigued and curious, much more than I’ve seen in her 7 years greeting visitors to our home. It was as though she was saying that she wanted to be the one in control and decide whether or not to accept David’s presence and allow him the opportunity to pet her. Most people would have left Os alone after one nip, but David persisted in giving his attention to Os and wanting to win her over.

This scene playing out reminds me of how we measure up people we meet and whether we eventually decide to trust this new person. Now I’m not from the “Show Me” state but alot of people are wary today of consumer fraud and untrusting. So it’s even more important today in business and relationships to make sure that you are walking the talk, maybe under promising and over delivering, and certainly not the opposite. There are probably alot more people observing you than you’re aware. They’re waiting to see how ‘real’ you really are — if you are a person of integrity — if you mean what you say and say what you mean.

So, my dear friend and associate, David, I’m sorry to say that Os was more than likely un-trusting and wary of you because she needed more time getting to know you — because what she saw and thought you to be, was not what she smelled and your scent was telling her you were. I believe you hit the nail on the head — your pet dog’s scent was still all over you. Your scent was not what you appeared to be.

So just hang in here with me a little longer, please. Think about your career or your business. How do you appear or what do you appear to be to your associates and business prospects? What do you smell like? What do you sound like? Is what you’re saying and actually doing in conflict with each other. For that matter, are your goals versus your actions in conflict? Are you walking that talk?

Your body knows what is harmful to it and what is good. We use our senses sometimes unconsciously. Os, the cat, knew to be more cautious.

During our training session today we used a simple well-known kinesiology experiment seeing the body weaken under testing when a negative thought is acknowledged versus a positive one. The same result can be documented when a negative image is thought of versus a positive one. So, if our body weakens under negative energy patterns, what negative energy are you subjecting yourself to or continuing to participate in unconsciously? How about consciously, but you think it’s innocent enough that it won’t affect you? The definition of ‘Kinesis’ is an involuntary movement or reaction as a the result of an external stimulus, reflex.

Our experiment and science proves that the thoughts you think influence your results and what you experience, whether you’re conscious of it or not — so be careful what you think!

First, the good news. The last two quarters our personal retirement statements have reflected 10% increases for each quarter — a welcomed sign! The county just north of us only has four months of remaining inventory of single-family homes — those foreclosures are being bought up! And the average home price is up 4% over a year ago. All positive signs of changes in our economy. The returning of a prosperous economy will take time — maybe longer than we all anticipated.

But there’s something I believe that will not change back to what it once was. And that is the number of career openings with a guaranteed salary, full benefits and retirement package.

This fall season things look different. Many industries are changed forever by further regulation: financial, banking, mortgages, real estate — all to protect the consumer but make careers in those areas viable for only those passionate and willing to be tightly regulated with mandatory additional licensing, education, etc. And consumers are far less trusting making sales careers a bit more challenging.

Some industries and companies coming out of this recession are not willing to take the full brunt of responsibility for overhead of salaried positions with comprehensive benefits and retirement packages. The unemployed seeking a career change already know the competition for each position is greater than ever. But here’s the bottom line. Many compensation packages are very a-typical now. A company wants to know that you understand how they expect you to impact THEIR bottom line. You cannot take for granted that you will be able to leverage your time for a typical paycheck in the six figure income range. In fact, many companies want to establish an ‘on contract’ position to give you an opportunity to prove yourself and prove your impact to their bottom line. ‘On contract’ is turning out to include a wide variety of compensation models, some never seen before — hybrid if you will — commission only or much smaller base salaries tightly monitored toward quotas and performance measurements. So more than ever before — you are definitely not in control, no matter how hard you think you are working.

It is for this reason that I have focused on supplying personal development resources on my blog for those who want to be at the top of their game in that existing career or management position, or if you’re seeking a position. Especially in these times, MINDSET is more important than ever! For the small business owner wanting to position themselves creatively to be at the forefront of their markets coming out of this recession, mindset training is critical. It’s the ‘thinking out of the box,’ sure, but it’s more than that. It’s about erasing the affects of all the negative messages you are bombarded with daily, and making room for your subconscious to reveal to you the secrets that have been kept abated by the crazy rat race existence. I am truly over-simplifying what work is done in personal development and mindset training, because it is work. But if you are determined to make your first million dollars, or your next, proper mindset position will assure your rise to the top of your game.

So, this fall season, with industries and careers forever changed, it’s time to prepare for a new personal season of change — the time is now to change your mindset and become that to producer, become that entrepreneur and start that business you’ve been wanting. It’s time to reinvent yourself to become your greatest potential. If you want to achieve success and be at the head of the pack finally achieving the life success, and financial success you’ve always desired, then make a commitment to become your greatest potential by working on your self. Personally, as a student of personal development of 14 years I can only attest to what has worked for me and it’s the resources you’ll find on this blog. I welcome your comments — if you’ve been on a path to reinvent yourself, what techniques or products have you been using. Looking forward to hearing from you!

There’s an incredibly important element that most people bypass — passion, your ‘why’ and being ‘in flow.’ Although the book discusses it and there are many other books that focus on this important element, what I want to emphasize is that it is crucial to your success in manifesting that you persist in creating a stream of passionate and emotional energy. The type of emotional energy that is created when you are ‘being’ that person you intend to become. That person who just landed that big account, who accomplished their financial goals, who successfully launched that non-profit — you get the idea. It is your ‘why.’ The big ‘why’ for the reason you have the goal in the first place. Feeling the energy of your having accomplished that already and living from that place actually uses the powerful Law of Attraction. Being ‘in flow’ means you are emanating that dynamic energy that draws from the universe the abundance of opportunities and produces people to be in the right place at the right time and provide just what you will need to create your success in accomplishing that goal.

The challenge is not to block. Blocking, by going with the ebb and flow of your emotions and being stuck in fear or in a place of wanting and lacking what you want, reverses the work already accomplished when you were ‘in flow.’ So to pray without ceasing is basically the same message here, to persist in your laser-like focus on your dreams — the end goal in mind. And to, without ceasing, create that continuous outward flow of positive emotion and energy that you know you will be feeling as if you’ve already accomplished that goal. You must be that person already emotionally and make the business decisions that person would make, taking the deliberate actions toward what you are creating. And because what you see in your current reality is not what you are intending to create, it is easy to get side tracked.

This is some of the most difficult personal work you can do to stay in laser focus to create what you intend. It takes courage to set yourself on a committed course of self development and face all the fears you have of failure of not reaching that goal, of being criticized, of being alone having set yourself apart from the crowd. You must have an entrepreneurial mindset, a millionaire mindset if you will. Be the leader, not the follower. Even if you’re in a career and not a home based entrepreneur like I am, having an entrepreneurial mindset will set you apart from the crowd and that alone can open doors and create opportunities you never had before.

There are many programs, books, audio sets, etc. available to assist one in learning more, but only a few quality educational curriculum that diligently assist you in becoming involved daily in the positive practices that will produce results. So be cautious and do your research. My blog is one of many focused on self growth and personal development with many resources to assist you in your development. Here’s to your success and staying ‘in flow’! — Janet the Planet

I was moved by many chapters of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s new book, Excuses Begone, which I finished reading a few weeks ago. There are many parts of which I’d like to comment on in the future. The day I finished the book, I was struck by how similar my experience of making a mid-life career change was to the experience Dr. Dyer wrote about when he made the decision to act in the movie The Shift. Prior to making his decision, he experienced running through the old habits and excuses that would have supported his decision to NOT do the project such as:

“It’ll be difficult. A risk. I’ve never acted before. Don’t take direction well. Like to do what I want, when I want. Not my nature to act. No one will help me. I’ll be hopelessly lost. Never done such a thing before. What if I look stupid? Too old to learn a new profession. Project is too big. I’m too busy with my existing schedule. I’m scared. Don’t want to be put in a position where I might look be, or even worse, fail.” I’m sure you can relate, can’t you?

Dr. Dyer believes that four criteria must exist in order for you to proceed when making the decision to let go of the familiar for the unknown. The that I could totally relate to was that the project or whatever you are facing be “Doable.” Even though Dr. Dyer didn’t have a clue as to how he’s master whatever skills were necessary to create the full-length movie, he knew it was “Do-able.” Even though he had all the excuses in the world as noted above, he knew that the end results would be a great experience for the viewers and for himself to expand and learn. He was able to ’stow’ as it called it his skepticism — he put aside all those excuses. He trusted that the project was “Doable” because many other people before him have done the same thing, been part of a movie, or created/produced one, acted in it, directed, etc. So it’s not that it was an impossible feat. Once he let go of those excuses and trusted in the talents and experience of those around him to guide him to learn and do what was needed of him, everything that he did need began to show up right on time. His excuses for not being involved disappeared once he let go.

He also knew that the project would fulfill the other 3 criteria: It Must Make Sense, Must Allow You To Feel Good, and It Must Be Aligned With The Callings of Your Soul.

When I finally faced how sick and truly disgusted and dissatisfied I was with my former career as a Financial Advisor and middle management trainer in that same industry, I sought out business models that I could work and run from my home. I was fed up enough to make a drastic change because I was no longer aligned with what made me feel good. In fact I was really having physical illness and neurological symptoms my situation was so very severe with toxic level stress. I wrote a story about it and recorded a video about this experience. The article is being released this week and the video appears on this blog.

Even though I faced the same long list of excuses that Dr. Dyer points out in the last section of his book, Excuses Begone, I knew that making the drastic change in my life would: A) be aligned with my heart and soul (not to mention my health), B) picking a business that allowed me to assist others would be a way of giving and paying it forward which would help me feel good about my work, C) it must be do-able – many people work from home in a home business opportunity, so it’s been done before; I would just have to learn how, and lastly D) it must make sense – all my basic needs would be fulfilled even if my new business were mildly successful, it’s been done before, I’ll have more flexibility in my schedule, time to heal, time to get my weight back down and get in shape, the list of why going into business for myself made sense was, in fact, very long.

But taking that leap, at least for some people, is not as easy to do as it was for me. I had faith. I had faith that the people affiliated with the business I eventually chose to be aligned with were of integrity. I could sense (even though I never met them face to face) thru our many conversations that they were genuine, real, and totally honest with me about the potential for my success. And, I believed in myself. I believed that I was capable of accomplishing anything I would set my mind to. (Okay, grammatically, I know I’m not supposed to send a sentence with “to”, but this is my blog, so I can do whatever I wish!) So, I took the leap and made the mid-life career change to a totally unrelated industry because it was aligned with my passions, totally. I “stowed” all the excuses away, because the potential end result was my brass ring and I wanted more than anything that brass ring. I deserved the brass ring! I deserved success.

For any of you considering making even a small career change or going into business for yourself, my desire for you is fantastic success in whatever you do. Life’s too short not to be happy. Life’s more than just barely providing for yourself and your family. If you believe you will succeed, YOU WILL! You have to believe it to see it – to make it happen. If you have passion for what change will bring about, you can make it a successful transition. You see, self-actualizing people — those that take matters into their own hands and make it happen — never use their minds to think about that which they don’t want to attract. They think and affirm only about what they do wish to attract:

My career/business transition will be successful.

I am deserving of success and great wealth and abundance in all areas of my life.

All the money needed to meet my goals will arrive on time.

I am disciplined in thoughts and affirmations.

I am disciplined with my body, food choices and exercise.

Today I will continuously contemplate myself as being surrounded by the conditions I wish to produce.

These are just a few of the affirmations I started out using myself. There are many more you can use that directly relate to you and your situation and especially those that are targeted to counter your old excuses. I’ll close with a quote from a former Commander in Chief of the allied armies in World War I, Ferdinand Foch, which reminds me of the basis of the Law of Attraction which most assuredly will bring you what you want like a magnet, which basis is PASSION — if you have continuous passion for your purpose, you will manifest it. Here’s the quote: “THE MOST POWERFUL WEAPON ON EARTH, IS THE HUMAN SOUL ON FIRE!”

For those of you who consider yourselves part of the New Age phenomenon have learned, just as I have, that we are more responsible for our lives than we were brought up to believe.  I intend to elaborate in future posts, but for now I wanted to share a video and my take on an excerpt from Excuses Begone here.

Have you ever heard someone say “Well, I can’t help myself — my parents were that way”?  Well, for a long time I’ve never believed that statement, whatever the circumstance.  Even before I started my Personal Development business and learned about the power of my focus, I didn’t believe that.  Maybe because I’ve had a few personal triumphs I made sure happened in my life – by design – to make sure I didn’t turn out like my parents in how I parented my daughter which was a biggie for me and just one example I’ll mention here.

Have you started a business in the past and it didn’t work?   Or been an employee with an incentive based compensation plan that never produced the income you expected?  Do you know why it didn’t work?  What excuses did you use?  Or if you didn’t think they were excuses where do you point the finger of blame?  The economy, poor marketing plan, not enough advertising, bad product, bad service department, etc.  Put your excuse here.  “An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie,” Alexander Pope.  I pinged that earlier this week to social networking sites.  This is so true because either consciously or subconsiciously the person who states an excuse is buying into their own limiting belief system that is preventing them from doing something or creating something.

Bruce Litpon, Ph.D.  is a reknowned cell biologist who taught medical students before resigning to do research full time.  You should read or listen to his findings – they are so dead on to what I’ve believed for some time.   His research led him to new facts according to Dr. Wayne Dyer in his book Excuses Begone:  “Life is not controlled by genes  . . . they’re strictly blueprints.  The invisible, formless energy that (makes up) the genes’ environment is  the architect that turns the blueprint into this mystery we call life. “  The architect of my life is my personal belief system and my perception and that’s exactly what his findings support!  For those of you who are stuck in an unwanted situation and have been feeling victim to what’s going on around you – BEHOLD HERE YOU HAVE THE ANSWER!  You can change the way you think, therefore changing the way you perceive.   Lipton’s understanding based on his research states that we “have the capacity to trump our genetic inheritance and our cellular DNA.”  You are the influencer of what occurs in your life.  This awareness can help you dump those excuses into the garbage can.  This might sound drastic, but it’s a visual I have.  So ask yourself this question — Where has your best thinking gotten you so far?  If you’re not happy with where you are, you now know what you can do to change that.

In my business I teach my team to immerse themselves in their personal development.  Thru consistent application of new habits, new belief systems will be formed leading to your actually living and becoming your greatest potential!  Well, that’s it for this post.  I was so excited, I just had to share.  It’s great seeing new scientific findings to back up this new way of thinking.   I hope you enjoy this video of Dr. Dyer interviewing Dr. Lipton.

Be a Mental Surgeon

Become a Mental Surgeon & Immerse Yourself in Personal Development!

Then your troubles will be cut off the way dead branches are pruned from a tree.

(Troubles are the 6 fears, worry, excuses and procrastination).